Everyone recalls the epic dance contest at The Max when Lisa Turtle and Screech birthed the award-winning, era-defining dance move "The Sprain." Also burned into our prepubescent brains was the flawless dance technique of one Jessie "Legs" Spano. Even as early as episode one, we all knew that Ms. Spano was destined for greatness. And, how!
It is hardly a stretch to say that we were "so excited...so excited...(so scared!)" when Elizabeth Berkley landed the lead roll in the 1995 silver screen classic, Showgirls. Jessie certainly did not disappoint as the vagrant hitchhiker - turned stripper...no, dancer - turned Vegas star - turned ex hooker/ex con - turned psycho attempted murderer, Nomi Malone. Once again, her prowess on the stage was beyond inspired.
And inspired were we to take our second leap into the exciting and dangerous world of pole dancing. With moves called terrifying things like "Peter Pan" and "Friar Tuck", we knew we were in for a world of hurt that only Navy Seals and the girl that gets sawed in half during the magic show could know.
As usual, we were correct.
To the right is Kristen's bruise. Just slightly above the knee on the inner thigh, just where the pole hits the leg on many pole spin favorites such as the aforementioned Martini and the newly acquired Pinwheel. No, that is not a trick of the eye or fancy Photoshopping skills. That purpleish-green is 100% natural, pale skin bruised by an hour-long pole dance class.
Not pictured is the bruise on the top of her head from the headstands that she was forced to do as the first step toward inverts. Also not pictured are the bilateral knee bruises. Insert tasteless joke here.
Figure 2.1 is Aubri's bruise.
Inner calf, pummeled time after time as she swung her outer leg across to wrap around the pole. Other favorite bruises: the top inner portions of both thighs where she would squeeze for dear life. She didn't even attempt photos of these, because for some reason she couldn't seem to take pictures of her calf bruise with out panty shots, and we would like to remain family friendly. An additional bruise was found on her back, which we can only assume is either from doing head stands against the pole, or existed before class and she's just using pole dancing as a convenient scapegoat.
It is hardly a stretch to say that we were "so excited...so excited...(so scared!)" when Elizabeth Berkley landed the lead roll in the 1995 silver screen classic, Showgirls. Jessie certainly did not disappoint as the vagrant hitchhiker - turned stripper...no, dancer - turned Vegas star - turned ex hooker/ex con - turned psycho attempted murderer, Nomi Malone. Once again, her prowess on the stage was beyond inspired.
And inspired were we to take our second leap into the exciting and dangerous world of pole dancing. With moves called terrifying things like "Peter Pan" and "Friar Tuck", we knew we were in for a world of hurt that only Navy Seals and the girl that gets sawed in half during the magic show could know.
As usual, we were correct.
To the right is Kristen's bruise. Just slightly above the knee on the inner thigh, just where the pole hits the leg on many pole spin favorites such as the aforementioned Martini and the newly acquired Pinwheel. No, that is not a trick of the eye or fancy Photoshopping skills. That purpleish-green is 100% natural, pale skin bruised by an hour-long pole dance class.
Not pictured is the bruise on the top of her head from the headstands that she was forced to do as the first step toward inverts. Also not pictured are the bilateral knee bruises. Insert tasteless joke here.
Figure 2.1 is Aubri's bruise.
Inner calf, pummeled time after time as she swung her outer leg across to wrap around the pole. Other favorite bruises: the top inner portions of both thighs where she would squeeze for dear life. She didn't even attempt photos of these, because for some reason she couldn't seem to take pictures of her calf bruise with out panty shots, and we would like to remain family friendly. An additional bruise was found on her back, which we can only assume is either from doing head stands against the pole, or existed before class and she's just using pole dancing as a convenient scapegoat.
Badges of Honor. Wear that shit with pride...
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see what other injuries you guys will sustain as a result of this experiment.
xo c