The Cold Clammy Hand of Reality

-OR- What's With the Infrequency, Kenneth?

You may have noticed our blog posts don't follow a reliable schedule of installments. Instead of stepping up our game (really not our style) we have decided to give our readership an exclusive behind the scenes look at what goes into the making of Making No One Proud.

MNOP is a collaboration of efforts between Kristen and Aubri; two friends who (luckily) have a similar voice. In order to keep continuity, we will nary use an "I". This means the adventures and opinions will be expressed through the powerful "we". Or the third person use of names. Which also means there are times we write about ourselves in the third person. This seems to be leading to the development of several social and mental dysfunctions.

We also try to write, or "work", together as much as possible. This usually goes down one of two ways:

Scenario 1: In private.

Most frequently we work at Aubri's apartment. This sometimes proves problematic for Kristen since Aubri doesn't believe in wearing pants when at home, regardless of company. Often, Kristen has to text from the next town over to make sure that Aubri has ample time to put on clothes. Kristen also refuses to "just come on in" without knocking several times.

Once set up in her bedroom (where all the magic, and sometimes impromptu photo sessions occur), Kristen will open five pages on the web browser so she can type up the brilliance, "research", and watch youtube videos simultaneously.

Aubri lays on her bed with her feet in the air and says random things until one catches on. She also dissolves into hysterical laughter at her own jokes.

The process is interrupted every fifteen minutes with a trip to the kitchen for a snack, or the suggestion that they go get cake. After which one will say "Ok. We work for twenty minutes. Then take a break. We have a deadline of midnight."

Midnight will come and go. There will be two, possibly three, more sentences added, a few words deleted, and the promise made that next time we will finish and post.

Scenario 2: In Public.

We meet after work at Inkwell, or a diner...it is New Jersey, with our trusty notebooks in hand. First, of course, we order. French fries with Mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce for Aubri, something equally healthy for Kristen.

Note: Inkwell is just about the only place we don't order the exact same thing.

Until the food comes we comment on the other patrons. Loud enough for them to hear, but not so loud they can be sure we're talking about them.

When the food arrives we start to eat, and pull out our notebooks while we discuss buying new laptops. Aubri will then spill something on her notebook, which is okay because all she'll have done is doodled pictures of things, attempted to start a game of MASH, and mapped out genetically why incest is wrong (see: left).



However, we feel more productive at Inkwell because working there we get our name out. In the form of graffiti in the bathroom (totally encouraged).


The more important part of the process is the doing. Which takes time, a lot of time. For instance, we quickly discovered that a single practice or pole dancing class does not equal a post. Or, at least, not an interesting post. And guess what? After awhile all the bruises start to look the same. So it may take a few weeks to have enough to share.

But we are constantly developing ideas, and researching adventure. Once we have our hearts set on something, we share our intentions with our friends and family who always ask the same question:

Don't you have anything better to do?

No. No, we do not.